It can feel challenging to get the kids into bed at the end of a busy day. As parents, we are also tired and our children often don’t look forward to sleep as much as we do, often pushing boundaries by having lots of requests, delay tactics, or visits out of the bedroom after saying goodnight. Here are 10 helpful tips from Rest Grow Thrive for you to help improve bedtime with your little ones!

1. Put down the screens: Screen time close to sleep has been shown to interfere with the ability to fall and stay asleep at night. The general rule of thumb is to put down the screens at least an hour before going to bed for the night. Dim the lights in the house in the hour leading up to bedtime.

2. Have an optimal sleep space: The ideal sleep space is dark, cool, and quiet. It can help to use room darkening shades, especially to help with any seasonal early sunrises & late sunsets! If your child wants a nightlight, warm colors like ambers and red are a much better choice as those colors don’t stimulate the brain the way white/blue lights do. If exterior noise is an issue, a white noise machine does wonders to help.

3. Bedtime Routine & Routine Poster: Every successful bedtime starts with a great bedtime routine. This is a time, as parents, to put away YOUR phones and spend 20-30 minutes connecting with your child. If you think your child needs to get the wiggles out, start with a little dance party. Then, outside of the typical bedtime routine activities of baths, pajamas, and teeth brushing; move onto activities together that you find enjoyable and calming, such as reading books, telling stories, singing songs. Also, including our children in the process of getting ready for bed helps them take ownership of the steps to do so. You can draw up a routine poster for them to follow or use clip art to make your own.

4. Use a bedtime timer: For our children, it can feel difficult to transition from something fun (playing, spending time with each other) to something they may find boring (sleep). Preparing them for the transition by using a timer can eliminate some of the frustration about having to go to bed. You can use your phone, an Alexa, or a visual timer of some sort. For examples, you can say, “In three minutes, we will start getting ready for bed by going to put our pajamas on brushing our teeth.”

5. Bring the motivation & give choices: Even though we are tired as parents at the end of a long day, it can help to bring some fun into the bedtime routine. For example, when the bedtime timer goes off, you can ask your child if they want to slither like a snake towards the bedroom or fly like an airplane. Toddlers and preschoolers spend most of the day following rules at school, so they can really struggle with more directions when they feel tired at the end of a long day. It can also help to give them choices, so they get some ownership over getting ready for bed. They can choose which pajamas to wear or what book you will read. By giving them choices on things that don’t ‘matter’ to you as the parent, they get some small wins in the process.

6. Family Meeting: Family meetings about sleep are extremely useful! Sit down with the whole family and discuss sleep, at a time away from bedtime. Talk about why it is important, how we feel when we get enough of it, and explain the new sleep rules and expectations around sleep. Make it fun! Tell your child something they already do well with sleep and discuss what they will do better when they get the sleep they need (jump higher/run faster). Reframe sleep as something we GET to do instead of something we HAVE to do. Introduce your Sleep Rules poster (below) and tell them how you will respond if they don’t follow the sleep rules (and expect that they will push the boundaries).

7. Sleep Rules Poster: This poster is all about laying the expectations for your child about the expectations around going to bed at night. Have them decorate the poster with you and you can hang it by the bed and review it quickly before bed with them. Keep it simple.
   At bedtime we…
   1. Stay in bed.
   2. Close our eyes.
   3. Lie Still.
   4. Be Quiet.
   5. Stay in bed until morning.

8. Bedtime Pass: Consider this your child’s ‘get out of bed free’ card. Make a pass for them for one more trip out of bed after bedtime – perhaps to use the potty, get one more snuggle, or for another sip of water. After using the pass, they must stay in bed for the night. If they keep the pass and don’t use it/don’t get out of bed at all – they can trade it in the next day for a reward.

9. Silent Return: After you’ve completed the preparation with your child, it’s time to hold the expectations and boundaries around sleep. For children who get out of their bed, I encourage silently returning them to bed, as many times as it takes. The key is to keep your engagement as minimal as possible, to continue to send the message that it is nighttime and it’s time to sleep. Tell them during your family meeting that this is what you will be doing anytime they come out of their room after bedtime. You can even practice this during the day time, so they know exactly what to expect.

10. Stay patient & positive: It’s also important to stay patient & positive. Our children mirror our stress and emotions, so if we are frustrated about bedtime, it’s normal to see them become frustrated as well. It is normal and healthy for our children to test the boundaries we put in place; it is our job to hold those boundaries.

About Rest Grow Thrive: If you have been battling with bedtime for your little ones, reach out! As a certified pediatric sleep consultant, Autumn helps families regularly bring rest back to their family. She is based in Bonita Springs, Florida and serves
families worldwide. Follow her on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/restgrowthrive/  and Facebook https://www.facebook.com/restgrowthrive. For more information, go to her website at https://www.restgrowthrive.com/. You can contact me to learn more about working together by emailing her at autumn@restgrowthrive.com.